Sober

I wrote about you
When I got drunk.

Except
Now I’m sober
And I don’t remember writing it
But yesterday I was worried
About your friends remembering your birthday.

How could I hate you?

Can you hate someone
And hope they’re having a good day
And wonder if they’ve finally gotten help?

But your name still makes me shake.

Hearing your nearly silent footsteps
In my dorm room
Still
Makes me want
To drink so much
I throw up
Everything
I’ve ever felt
For you.

I think I hate you?

You ripped me apart
And then cried
To her
That everyone leaves.

I left
Because
I
Was
In
Pieces.

I would’ve drank gasoline
And set myself on fire
To keep you warm.

And you would’ve let me.

I think I hate you.